Updated: Aug 17, 2019
(Life In Motion LLC., its owner or staff do not own the rights to the song "Love is in the Air" nor do we own the right to the video or Youtube Channel this video was located). Everywhere I look around... Okay now that I have that amazing song stuck in your head... The question is can you feel it in your marriage?
This Valentine's Day I want to focus on your marriage.
I became a marriage and family therapist because I LOVE the institute of marriage! A special relationship ordained by God created for this world. A partner to navigate this journey with!
That is SO exciting to me!
How well you navigate this journey together determines the quality of your marriage and the quality of your life.
One if the most important thing in any marriage is knowing and anticipating your spouse's needs. How do you do this when your own partner does not even know what he/she needs? When working with a couple, one of the first things I do is have them determine their love language. Love language! What language are you speaking now? The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (ww.5lovelanguages.com/resources/books/)is a book about discovering what means the most to you so that you can express this to your spouse and have your emotional needs met. The 5 Love Languages are
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Acts of Service
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Quality Time
5) Physical Touch
It is really important to know which language you speak and what your partner speaks so you and your partner can understand each other's love language and how your partner interprets and feels love! (The language of Amore).
For example what means the most to me is physical touch. There is no easier way for my husband to calm the beast or express how much he cares than a simple touch. Holding hands for me is very powerful. I have a friend who's language is Receiving Gifts. He feels special and loved when he gets to open a present. (It does have to be wrapped too or you will hear about it trust me!)
I have another friend that speaks through Acts of Service. She stays overwhelmed with kids, household chores, a full-time job and craves the help. When her partner pitches in she immediately feels loved and appreciated.
It is very easy to discover what language you speak. Go to www.5lovelanguages.com and take the 10 minute quiz. Before you share the results with your spouse ask him/her to guess which one he/she thinks you are.
You will see how many questions are applied to each language and which one is the clear winner. After taking the quiz, if there is no clear winner then look at the 2 that have the highest points and let your spouse know they have a couple of ways for them to express their undying love to you! I also highly recommend reading the book. The knowledge that you will gain will help you have a successful marriage and feel the love that your spouse has for you!
As a side note... Here is a link www.smithsonianmag.com/history/gory-origins-valentines-day-180968156/ to the history of St. Valentine and why we celebrate love on February 14th...and no, Hallmark did not create the holiday. (I won that bet with my husband 😉!
Now go ahead love birds and go spend time with your spouse,
or cook for your love,
or tell them how great they are...
You get the point!!
Have a blessed and balanced day!
Melissa Smith is an LMFT in the state of Kentucky. To find out more about her click here.
Live. Life. Balanced.Today is a blog written by licensed marriage and family therapist.
For more information about counseling go to www.LifeInMotionKentucky.com