Losing someone that you love to death is never easy.That is especially true if the death was unexpected or due to an act of violence.The realization that life has just changed in a matter of moments can bring on shock and disbelief.If your loved one died after a battle with an illness then your brain has had time to prepare for the inevitable but the heart still deals with the shock of losing your loved one.Regardless of how your loved one passed, it is very important to grieve properly and allow yourself the opportunity to mentally deal with the major loss of your loved one. Here are some tips on how to deal after your loved one has died.
Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. The sadness, the anger, the relief, the happiness, the joy, the sorrow. Whatever emotions you are feeling are okay and are a normal part of the grieving process.
Be patient with yourself. There is no set time on grief and everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is definitely no timeline.
Be patient with others as they grieve. Since everyone grieves at their own pace, it is very important to not criticize others as they move through the grief process.
Know your limitations. Do not try to overdo or move back to "life as usual" too soon. That can actually cause you to have a setback.
Be kind to yourself while you grieve. Negative self talk or blaming yourself over something you wish you could have changed will not bring back your loved one and will hamper your progress. Forgive yourself or forgive your loved one.
Accept help. It is customary for those around you that do not know what to say or what to do to offer help. More times than not the offer is sincere. If someone offers to run errand, clean your house, cook meals etc, then allowing them to do these things not only helps lighten your load but gives others the opportunity to care for you and express their love and support for you.
If you continue feel overwhelmed or feel like your grief has lingered too long, or if you have had others around you suggest that you get help, then it may be time to seek the help of a therapist. A therapist can help you move through the grief process. For free help you can contact the funeral home that performed the serves or Hosperus where counseling is available.
Life In Motion is always here if you need support.
This blog is dedicated to my Uncle Larry Clark. You are forever with your love Aunt Sandy now! May you both rest in peace.
Melissa Smith is an LMFT in the state of Kentucky. To find out more about her click here.
Live. Life. Balanced.Today is a blog written by licensed marriage and family therapist.
For more information about counseling go to www.LifeInMotionKentucky.com